When Oscar left in June, I had some deniability. I was able to put it away and focus on something else - namely, mom's surgery and doing whatever she needed. But this time... it's been a very difficult adjustment.
Snickers came into my life at a time when he had been unintentionally abused. He was owned by a woman that worked 16+ hours a day and kept him in a crate. My mom and I gave him the best life he could have ever had. He was 6 or 7 when he was added to the family in 2004.
His time had come. He had stopped barking some time before, and complications from a tooth extraction had left him with an infection that just would not go away. He stopped eating, started losing a bit of weight, but kept his energy up. You could see in his eyes that he just wasn't feeling well at all. And as a pet lover, you just sort of know when it's time. His labored breathing and almost constant whining let us know he was in pain. We couldn't let him suffer.
As such, I have spent a lot of time writing. Writing is how I cope in times of stress. Sometimes, I end up just sitting in front of this typewriter pounding out stress. The pages almost never make it anywhere, and the words are always convoluted stream of consciousness ramblings. Sometimes, recently, they have managed to end up in letters.
Over the summer I couldn't find the words. Now there are too many. Too many thoughts and feelings. Too many stories to tell. Too many things to share. There simply isn't enough time in the day for me to get it all done. Is there ever enough time?
In our modern rush hurry do all the things right now world, I'd venture to guess that no, there is never enough time.